It is the shadows and constrictions in your mind and heart that give you pain. Ego gives you a sense of self that is dependent on your environment. But when you have a healthy ego, you recognize that these identities are what you do, not who you are. Gurudevi Nirmalananda explains the various dimensions of your Self and how you can dissolve the limitations so your inner essence can shine through.  
Join Gurudevi online at her next Meditation Program - www.svaroopa.org/satsangs